Spiritual Experience, Daydream, or Mental Illness

It is not uncommon for me to field questions and concerns around the theme of “I had this really intense dream/meditation/trance, and I’m worried I might be crazy” or “such and such spirit came to me and told me things, and I’m pretty sure it’s true, but it doesn’t match anything that’s written or anybody else’s experiences” or “Am I just taking myself on wish fulfillment, fantastical adventures in my head and believing it’s true?”  As pagans, we work with spirits (including the gods and dead, and those who defy categorization) who are often fairly close to the human world (or share it with us entirely), and in a post-colonial Western society we don’t have a good frame of reference for what is “normal” in spiritwork.  

So, how do you find the balance between mental illness, your imagination, and a spiritual experience (or UPG – Unverified Personal Gnosis)? How do you know what is “real” and what is maybe just daydreaming? If you’re already neurodivergent, how do you navigate spiritual experiences while honoring your brain’s very real differences?

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Reflections on My Installation as Archdruid

Rev. Drum (dressed in white robes) holds sickle to throat of Rev. Jan (dressed in multi-colored robes)

There are rites of passage that happen throughout our lives, and sometimes they pass without much fanfare, but other times they are spiritually significant and marked as such through ritual and community engagement.

At Wellspring this year I was installed at the 7th Archdruid of ADF at the main rite.  I planned most of the rite and scripted portions of it, but there was also a very real sense of “this is something that I need to let happen to me, and not control the experience.”  That’s hard to do for a very liturgical and spiritwork focused Priest. 😉 I’m used to making these experiences meaningful for others, but in this case I trusted others to make it meaningful, not just for me, but for ADF as a whole.

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ADF Elects a New Archdruid: Rev. Jan Avende To Focus On Empowerment and Connection

androgynous person in full ritual regalia looks calmly and confidently at the camera, against a green meadow background

Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship (ADF), has elected a new Archdruid by popular vote: Rev. Jan Avende (they/them). Also elected to serve on ADF’s governing body, the ADF Mother Grove, are Rovena Windsor (Chief of the Council of Senior Druids), Matthias Dolgner-Trampnau (Non-Officer Director), Tami Olsen (re-elected Non-Officer Director) and Mike Bierschenk (ADF Secretary, elected to a full term).

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Gender Diversity is Welcomed in ADF

For our US Druids, especially those who are gender diverse, I know the past few days have been a lot.  I want to assure you that ADF is a place where you are explicitly welcome.  You are valid.  You belong here. Your presence brightens our community and adds vibrance to our practice.  

Our system of practice and belief is centered around *ghosti.  Hospitality.  Building reciprocal relationships.  We welcome all those of good will into our spaces, and expect those we welcome to abide by the social contract of good will.  Our community will not tolerate hate speech or a debate regarding whether or not someone’s identity and existence is valid.  Our cis allies need to step up in this regard, and call out this behavior when you see it, so that appropriate action can be taken.  

Gender diverse members (trans, nonbinary, genderfluid, intersex, and beyond), please know that I am also processing this, but will make time to talk with you.  Please reach out if you need to.  Cis allies, if you need help processing this, I encourage you to reach out as well, though please be aware that I will refer you to another ally who can manage the emotional labor better than me at the moment. 

Queer Grief and Ancestor Veneration

Queer Grief and Ancestor Veneration

originally published for Oak Leaves Winter 2024

“As our ancestors did before, so we do now, so our descendants may do in the future.” This is what we say in every ritual, in every statement of purpose and precedent.  But how do we live it?

[cw: this article will touch on themes of death, grief, transphobia, homophobia, epidemics, and suicide]

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New Job, New Work-Life Balance

I’m delighted to announce that I’ve accepted a full-time position as a Resident Chaplain at OhioHealth’s Grant Hospital. I’ll be getting all four units of CPE (clinical pastoral education) as well as working rotations across all areas on a variable shift schedule. (I’m also still continuing my once a week work at the Ohio Reformatory for Women, though that schedule is shifting too)

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Perseverance is Making Sure You’re a Success Story, Not a Statistic

As I continue working as a prison chaplain, I’ve found not only is it a deeply fulfilling part of my vocation, it is also allowing me to re-examine my own spirituality and add depth and subtlety to my understandings of the cosmos.  I teach weekly using Rev. Dangler’s Dedicant Path Through the Wheel of the Year as a base, and recently we were discussing the virtue of perseverance.  Beyond definitions, I like to ask them to think of a person (real or fictional, historical or modern, famous or not) who they believe embodies each virtue.  For perseverance, it was thinking of who has the drive to continue towards their goals, even when the whole world seems to be conspiring against it.  They acknowledged each other as fully embodying perseverance.  

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