pagan

First Album Out: May it End Well

Well, I’ve done one of the most terrifying things to date, and released an album of some of my own music. Bandcamp lets you stream for free, or buy the whole album if you’d like. These are songs that I play at festivals and rituals. Some I’ve been playing for more than a decade, and others are brand new in the past few months.

I’ve been hope-seeking a lot recently, and music has always been one of the places I’ve turned to when things seem darkest. This album a small collection of some of my songs that I turn to when I need to know the dawn is coming. My wish is that you find the same hope and solace in this music that I do.

blue open water, with gray rocks in the foreground. Album title and artist across the image: "May it End Well" "Jan Avende"

Examining ADFs Virtues through a Study of Virtue Ethics

In my clinical pastoral education program for chaplaincy we were asked to examine an ethical framework that resonates with our faith tradition and personal inclinations. I found myself reading through various ethical frameworks, from Consequentialism (ex: Jeremy Bentham) to Deontology (ex: Immanuel Kant) to various Pluralistic Theories (ex: WD Ross, John Kekes). After a thoughtful conversation with our Clinical Ethicist on staff, I found Virtue Ethics, which resonated well, though I don’t align with strict Aristotelian ethics, and have a slightly more pluralistic view. 

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Spiritual Experience, Daydream, or Mental Illness

It is not uncommon for me to field questions and concerns around the theme of “I had this really intense dream/meditation/trance, and I’m worried I might be crazy” or “such and such spirit came to me and told me things, and I’m pretty sure it’s true, but it doesn’t match anything that’s written or anybody else’s experiences” or “Am I just taking myself on wish fulfillment, fantastical adventures in my head and believing it’s true?”  As pagans, we work with spirits (including the gods and dead, and those who defy categorization) who are often fairly close to the human world (or share it with us entirely), and in a post-colonial Western society we don’t have a good frame of reference for what is “normal” in spiritwork.  

So, how do you find the balance between mental illness, your imagination, and a spiritual experience (or UPG – Unverified Personal Gnosis)? How do you know what is “real” and what is maybe just daydreaming? If you’re already neurodivergent, how do you navigate spiritual experiences while honoring your brain’s very real differences?

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Reflecting on the ‘Total Eclipse of the Heartland’

This past week I had the privilege to travel to Tredara with my family and many other pagan (and pagan-adjacent) folks to experience the totality of the solar eclipse that stretched across the United States on April 8th.  “Tredara is a 22-acre facility owned and operated by druids of Stone Creed Grove. It features multiple nemetons, an Ancestor Mound, a shrine to the Nature Spirits, and many other sacred spots” (Stone Creed).  Every time I have visited Tredara has been amazing, especially because they always seem to have new shrines each year (this year was a lovely Hekate shrine), but it was especially wonderful this visit because experiencing Totality is absolutely awe-inspiring, and then to see it on sacred ground amongst my spiritual community was ineffable.   

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Connections Across Traditions

A lot of my time recently has been consumed with thoughts of theology, relationships, and pan-pagan interfaith work.  I’ve been volunteering at a local prison, and attended my first pan-pagan festival in many years recently (Appalachian Summer Solstice at the Wisteria Campground in Ohio).  These experiences can be more complex by virtue of the differing traditions, but also very rewarding. By being exposed to the thoughts and teachings of others, and welcoming those differences, I have been able to better examine my own practices and beliefs.  

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Teaching Chaplains About Paganism

I had the amazing opportunity to teach a class of Chaplaincy students doing CPE with OhioHealth this week.  Their instructor had reached out to me to see if I could help give them some perspective on what types of things pagans belief, and what would help them in times of crisis.  The talk went really well, the students were engaged and had good questions.  Hopefully I get the opportunity to go back with each new cohort.  

Here’s the outline that I sent along to the students:

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