Raising Pagan Children

I’ve always intended on raising my children pagan, and over the past two years, as I’ve been putting that desire into practice, for the most part, it has not been a conscious effort. There are a few things that I try to teach my daughter, and a few things that I specifically explain to her, but mostly it is just involving her, and being surprised at how much she picks up. I walk my path unashamedly, and so she see all the little parts of my life where my faith and my practice are incorporated.  Toddlers are sponges.

She sees me pray each morning, and now fairly consistently asks “Mommy, pray?” So we pray together when she asks. I call out to Hestia and light her flame and some incense, and then we say “Yay, Hestia!” I’ve started adding in a super short prayer to the Three Kindreds and showing her how to make an offering of grain. For her, it’s still mostly about getting to take a handful of stuff and dump it out, but she’s learning: now she waits while I speak, grain in one hand, and both hands cupped up to the sky like me, and then puts it in the bowl when I’m done speaking and we say “Yay, Kindreds!” Recently I’ve been teaching her some common phrasing we use in our grove. She can say “Good Fire” when you ask her how we pray. When you ask her who guides us, she’ll say “Garanus.”

Garanus Crane

Garanus Crane

She watches me when I do full COoR rites, and mimics my motions. Not only does she put her arms down for the Ancestors, out for the Nature Spirits, and up for the Shining Ones, she also mimics my spiraling motions when I open and close the Gates. This was most obvious when I was holding her during our Samhain ritual last year, and she made the motions with me as I opened the Gates.

She has started breathing with me during meditation. I’ve been trying to incorporate it into our bedtime routine. We “sit quiet” and breathe. It’s kind of cute, since she knows we’re breathing, and so she breathes in really loud, and then blows out. She’s made it about as long as a minute, though more often it’s around 30 sec, so we’re working on it.

There are other aspects to my path and my practice. I play guitar and music is important to me on a spiritual level. She watches me play guitar, and I’ve been encouraging her to drum along with me. I plan on getting her a ukulele in the near future so that she can play with me on an instrument that will grow with her.

Being outside and reveling in nature is important to me as well, so when we go on walks, and she gifts me with leaves, and pinecones, and rocks, and bits of flowers and grass, I take interest in those, and sometimes we talk about how it’s important to thank nature for giving us those gifts. We watch the rain and look at ponds and jump in puddles. We watch the clouds and how the sun reflects off them, and sometimes she’s up with me to watch the sun come up and pray to Ushas. She pets trees and says “Nice tree.” Nature is good; nature is very good.

So, in raising a pagan kid, for me, it’s mostly about involving her in my practice wherever I can, and when she shows speicifc interest, deliberately welcoming her in. It makes her happy to be involved and valued in things that are important to our family, and teaches her this practice and way of life. And it makes me happy to have a child who is interested in what I value, and happy to take part in these aspects of our life.

Devotee vs. Patron

Something that has been on my mind a lot lately is the difference between being a devotee and having a patron, and where they overlap. I tend to prefer saying “I am a devotee of ____” rather than “____ is my patron.” I think a lot of people probably use these terms interchangeably, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Often when I’m speaking in general conversation I will say that Poseidon is my patron because that is more understandable in most pagan circles than calling myself a devotee.

It is a small semantic difference I think, but a lot of it in my brain comes down to who belongs to who. When I say I am a devotee what it feels like I am saying is “I belong to Poseidon.” The line of power flows from me to him, and when things are unbalanced in our relationship, they weight towards him. When I say I have a patron what I feel like I am saying is “Poseidon belongs to me.” The line of power flow from him to me, and when things are unbalanced in our relationship, they weight towards me. I think another part of it for me is that there is little bit of fear laced in the idea of having a patron. Or maybe just with having Poseidon as a patron. The ocean is huge, unfathomable, and powerful. I don’t particularly want all of that focus on me. It is an awesome power to be able to tap into, but it is also treacherous. There is perhaps a likelihood that he is my patron in all of these ways that I shy away from, but I am still, after all these years, surprised at it.  I can say that I have no doubt that he supports me.  I have no doubt that he has been an integral part of my development in my spiritual life.  I have no doubt that he walks beside me and that I will continue to honor him.

The nature of our *ghosti relationship stays pretty even, and pretty balanced. There is give and take. I certainly feel like he looks out for me, has taken a special interest in me, and walks with me on my path. I honor him, I worship him, I make offerings to him, and I call on him when I have a need. Our relationship has certainly gotten more balanced than I think it used to be. I used to feel like he was demanding more of me than I was willing or able to give. I think most of the time now we’ve reached a comfortable balance. I am willing to give more, and he is willing to ask less, though he is still a demanding god. I think our relationship is at as comfortable a place as can be expected between a human and a God of the Sea.

Let this Victory of Love Rejuvenate us!

I took great pleasure in updating the Druid Wedding fliers for Three Cranes Grove, ADF this morning!


Let us celebrate this great victory: revel and take resounding joy as love wins.

And amidst the celebration, let us remember to take this joy and this energy we’ve been given, the rejuvenation and reigniting of our spirits, and continue to fight for those who still lack protections and rights under the law. For those who identify as bi, trans, queer, pan, poly, or any other orientation that does not have the same visibility and same rights that we are currently celebrating: we see you! And the fight continues until ALL love wins!

So celebrate! And let your spirit be reinvigorated for the continued fight ahead!

Brightest Blessings on us all!

~Rev. Jan Avende

Wisteria Summer Solstice 2015 – Closing Rite

This year at Wisteria Summer Solstice, Three Cranes Grove, ADF was again asked to lead several rituals throughout the festival. We did the opening rite, the main summer solstice rite, and the closing rite. We were asked to tie all three rituals together. The theme of the festival this year was “Weaving Deeper Roots.” The Opening and Closing both take more of a devotional format, and the Main Summer Solstice Rite follows the ADF Core Order of Ritual. I had the pleasure of writing the liturgy and leading these rituals with my grove mates. Here is the script for the Closing Rite:

Statement of Purpose
Well, we’ve made it through a wonderful festival weekend, and in spite of the torrential rains, we’ve grown closer as a community. Perhaps even in part due to the weather. It’s important to remember that even as the rain pounds down, it nourishes the Earth, it nourishes the Land, and it nourishes us. Even as we are soaked to the bone, it drives us closer together. We seek shelter together and our roots grow stronger.

Now, as the sun has returned in full Solstice force today, the Waters we’ve gained are warmed within us and across the Land. Breath deep, and take a moment to feel the Waters within as the warmth of this Summer Solstice sun brightens in them and in you.

Restoration of the Ordinary
This Heart Fire was lit on Thursday from three Sacred Fires: The Fire of Fellowship, the Fire of Inspiration, and the Fire of Blessing. It has been tended by all of us: one Tribe, one Community, One Folk. From this Fire the other fires throughout the festival were lit and joined: PawPaw, Pirate’s Cove, the Stone Circle, and many others. All connected as one, helping us build fellowship, inspiring us, and filling us with the blessings of the spirits and our community. Those fires have been brought back to this Fire, the Heart Fire, that they may be joined together as one once more. Here at this Center they all burn. Here at this Center our roots meet and we are one.

It is now time to remember the connections we’ve made, and the ties we have deepened with our tribe, and to say goodbye for another year. Our roots have grown strong and we have danced around the fire with the Spirits. Now we thank them for joining us around this Good Fire and in our revelry this weekend.

Thanking the Spirits
Ancestors, the Children of the Earth call out to you!
Those of our blood and my bone, who have given us life.
Those of our heart and our hearth, who have guided our steps.
Those of our friends and our folk, who strengthen and deepen our relationships.
Those Mighty Dead: poets, priests, and bards.
Heroes among the ancestors who have shaped our world.
We joined in Fellowship this weekend, and remembered our roots.
We came together as one Tribe, one Community, one Folk,
and continued our observance of the Elder Ways.
For joining us, Ancestors, we make this offering to you in thanks.
May we continue to be guided by your wisdom and blessed by your presence in our lives.
Ancestors, we thank you!

Spirits of Nature, the Children of the Earth call out to you!
Those of fur and feather, who run and fly across the land.
Those of root and stem, who grow deep into the earth and reach for the sky.
Those of stone and mineral, who enrich the soil and enrich our lives.
Those Totems, Guides, and Allies, you who teach us your ways to love and honor the Earth.
We were inspired by you this weekend.
We supported each other as the rains fell, and raised our voices to the heavens in prayer and praise.
We came together as one Tribe, one Community, one Folk,
and continued our observance of the Elder Ways.
For joining us, Sprits of Nature, we make this offering to you in thanks.
May we continue to be guided by your wisdom and blessed by your presence in our lives.
Sprits of Nature, we thank you!

Shining Gods and Goddesses, the Children of the Earth call out to you!
Those of the Heavens, who shine brightly upon us and give us nourishing rains.
Those of the Land, who provide for us and walk beside us in our path.
Those of the Underworld, who care for our dead and know the riches of the earth.
Those Patrons, who take special interest in us and we worship with our heart, mind, and soul,
Devotees honoring you as you care for us.
We raised our arms, our branches, to the sky in unison and made offerings to you this weekend
and we received your Blessings in return.
We came together as one Tribe, one Community, one Folk,
and continued our observance of the Elder Ways.
For joining us, Shining Gods and Goddesses, we make this offering to you in thanks.
May we continue to be guided by your wisdom and blessed by your presence in our lives.
Shining Gods and Goddesses, we thank you!

Sending out the Heart Fire
The Three Kindreds, these many and varied and vibrant Spirits, we’ve now thanked for joining us this weekend in our revelry. Their roots have been woven into ours, and so now we’d like to make it so that we can all take a piece of this Fire home with us.

This is the heart fire of this festival. It has burned bright and strong here, and now, transferring it to these candles we send the Spirit of the Fire to live in these smaller flames.
In this Heart Fire lives the Heart of our Tribe, our Community, our Folk.
When we are missing our Tribe,
we can light this fire and reignite our Fellowship and reconnect our roots.
When we hear that one of our Tribe is hurting or in need of support,
we can light this fire and reignite our Fellowship and reconnect our roots.
When we need the inspiration of our Tribe,
we can light this fire and reignite our Fellowship and reconnect our roots.

So as this flame ignites your candle, let it also ignite in your heart. Feel the heat of the sun warm you as you hold this flame. Feel that warmth spread through you and the energy connect to the flame in your hand, the flame in your heart, and the flame in the Heart Fire here. Know that they are connected.

Dousing the Heart Fire
Now that we have this Heart Fire that we have tended burning in our own hearts, and have the ability to rekindle it for ourselves and each other, even in the darkest of times, the time has come to say goodbye for now, and douse these flames here.

So, even though the Fire may go out here, in this time and in this place, may it always burn ever strong within our hearts.

Go now in peace, carrying this Fire of Fellowship, Inspiration, and Blessing with you. Remember that we have woven our roots together as one Tribe, one Community, on Folk, and that we are all brightened by this same bright Fire.

Safe travels one and all as we journey on until we meet again!

Wisteria Summer Solstice 2015 – Opening Rite

This year at Wisteria Summer Solstice, Three Cranes Grove, ADF was again asked to lead several rituals throughout the festival. We did the opening rite, the main summer solstice rite, and the closing rite. We were asked to tie all three rituals together. The theme of the festival this year was “Weaving Deeper Roots.” The Opening and Closing both take more of a devotional format, and the Main Summer Solstice Rite follows the ADF Core Order of Ritual. I had the pleasure of writing the liturgy and leading these rituals with my grove mates. Here is the script for the Opening Rite:

Statement of Purpose
Welcome! We’re here to light the heart fire that will burn throughout the festival. This is a community flame. It is the hearth of our tribe, and it burns within us all. We gather together each year at this time when the sun rides high in the sky and shines brightly upon us all, filling us with the brightness and warmth of the summer sun.

Establishing Sacred Space
We are all Children of the Earth and here we weave out roots together. We may travel from all over, journeying through land, sea, and sky. Bringing those Spirits with us to share in our joy, revelry, and love. From all the realms we journey here to the Center, to meet around the fire at this sacred time and place.

Welcoming the Spirits
Three fires burn now to help us call to the Spirits and kindle the Sacred Fire at the Center of Worlds, where all space and all time blends together.
Here stands the Fire of Fellowship. As we forge the bonds of community and weave our roots together, let us call to the Ancestors…
Ancestors!
Those of our blood and my bone, who have given us life.
Those of our heart and our hearth, who have guided our steps.
Those of our friends and our folk, who strengthen and deepen our relationships.
Those Mighty Dead: poets, priests, and bards.
Heroes among the ancestors who have shaped our world.
It is to you we call out to and to you we sing praises.
By the Fire of Fellowship, as we all weave our many and diverse roots together in this time and place,
We ask you to meet us at the boundary, Ancestors!
Join us at our Sacred Hearth, and be warmed by our Good Fire.
Aid us and guide us as we walk the Elder Ways.
Ancestors, accept our offering!

Here stands the Fire of Inspiration. As we meld our voices as one, and uphold each other’s trunks, let us call to the Spirits of Nature…
Spriits of Nature!
Those of fur and feather, who run and fly across the land.
Those of root and stem, who grow deep into the earth and reach for the sky.
Those of stone and mineral, who enrich the soil and enrich our lives.
Those Totems, Guides, and Allies, you who teach us your ways to love and honor the Earth.
It is to you we call out to and to you we sing praises.
By the Fire of Inspiration, as we all meld our voices together and uphold one another in this time and place,
We ask you to meet us at the boundary, Spirits of Nature!
Join us at our Sacred Hearth, and be warmed by our Good Fire.
Aid us and guide us as we walk the Elder Ways.
Spirits of Nature, accept our offering!

Here stands the Fire of Blessing. As we make offerings together and all stretch our branches to the sky, let us call to the Shining Gods and Goddesses…
Shining Gods and Goddesses!
Those of the Heavens, who shine brightly upon us and give us nourishing rains.
Those of the Land, who provide for us and walk beside us in our path.
Those of the Underworld, who care for our dead and know the riches of the earth.
Those Patrons, you who take special interest in us and we worship with our heart, mind, and soul,
Devotees honoring you as you care for us.
It is to you we call out to and to you we sing praises!
By the Fire of Blessing, as we all make offerings together and stretch our branches to the sky in this time and place,
We ask you to meet us at the boundary, Shining Gods and Goddesses!
Join us at our Sacred Hearth, and be warmed by our Good Fire.
Aid us and guide us as we walk the Elder Ways.
Shining Gods and Goddesses, accept our offering!

Hallowing and Lighting the Fire
Now with the Three Kindreds called, we hallow these Three Fires.
Fire of Fellowship, burn bright and strong!
Fire of Inspiration, burn bright and strong!
Fire of Blessing, burn bright and strong!
Join together, light the heart fire, and burn bright and strong throughout the festival as the Children of the Earth weave our roots together and into the Land.
Children of Earth, Kindreds, Spirits all! Behold the Heart Fire!
Let it burn bright, sacred, and strong, building fellowship between us, inspiring us, and blessing us all!
This fire is for our community, for our tribe. We will all tend it throughout the weekend, as it burns bright within us all.
Go now in peace as the heart fire burns, and revel in our community as we have come home!

Evening Devotionals

I’m in a quiet, calm, and reflective kind of mood, and some nights, when it’s dark and quiet, it’s nice to just light the candles on my altar, enter that sacred space, and just be.  Just exist and do the work that calls to me and walk the path that sings in my blood and my soul. 

A few prayers spoken to invite those who I honor regularly, a few offerings made as I welcome them in. Then healing work for those who’ve requested it. And then contemplating the Fire, and knowing it’s okay that some nights this is all I do, and that it is exactly what I need to be doing. I am at peace and in the presence of the Kindreds.